I love Halloween. It symbolizes the start of my favorite time of year, the Holidays. However as I've grown up, there are things I've noticed since I've stopped trick or treating and started passing out candy. Maybe it's just the sign of the times or what parents allow but I'm sure you've all seen the things that some of these girls wear while out trick or treating. I wonder how some of them could be allowed to leave the house like that. Why does every female costume have to be "sexy" now. From Ninja Turtles to Sponge Bob, From Red Riding Hood to Little Bo Peep. Every costume has to have a sexy twist. I've even seen toddler costumes for girls that were even a little wrong. A few weeks ago Walmart had to pull a costume for little girls that parents thought were a little too risque. There are times when I'm not sure whether to give them candy or throw dollar bills at them. I know that may sound wrong but I'm sure you've seen this alarming trend too. Sure I don't mind seeing the costumes on at an adult Halloween party or at a strip club but on a 13-17 year old girl is totally different. My daughter would be going out as the most unsexy scarecrow you've ever seen. The world is too full of sickos and pervs for me to allow my make believe daughter to parade around town half naked like a piece of meat, ripe for a kidnapping.
I wasn't kidding about sexy Sponge Bob
Again I love Halloween and also love throwing on a costume to pass out candy because the looks on some of the kids faces is priceless and after all, Halloween is about the kids. I've been Darth Vader, a werewolf, gorilla, and even a gorilla wearing a banana costume. Sure I may be a little old to throw on a costume but I like to get in the spirit of the holiday. This brings me to my next issue with the modern trick or treater. At some point, we all reach the age where we hang up our trick or treating buckets and do other things on All hallows eve but it seems the age at which this is supposed to happen has been pushed back a bit. I used to say "You are never too old for free candy." But guess what? I now have a weight problem so that saying has back fired. You may not ever be too old for free candy but once you stop even attempting to dress up to trick or treat then it's time to just stop all together. Sweat pants and a hooded sweatshirt seem to be the most popular costume for older male trick or treaters. I'm talking like High School juniors and possibly some seniors. I'm pretty sure I stopped going when I was a freshman out of fear that I would be seen by older class mates and have my reputation ruined, because back then I apparently had a reputation in my own mind and that reputation was that I was somehow cool. Listen, if you decide while you are visiting a possible college to attend that you are going to go trick or treating then at least put on some kind of fucking costume or mask because if not then I'll just consider you going as a douche bag and if you decide to still go out as douche bag man, say fucking "trick or treat" and "thank you" because I may decide not to give you candy.........ok I probably will out of fear that you will vandalize my house while I'm sleeping.
I remember how excited I would get as 6:00 pm would get closer then it would finally get here and my mom, brother and I would head out. My brother and I would run fro house to house which my mom didn't seem to mind. She just wanted us to be done as quick as possible because chances were that she was miserable, probably because the weather was either cold or rainy and some years, both. She powered through those years and when we got old enough to go without her, I'm sure she was relieved. Thanks mom, for toughing it out through rain,sleet, and cold all those years. That is what parents are for. What parents are not for is to hold your cigarette while you go up to house for candy and then hand it back to you once you are done. This seriously happened! The girl was probably 14-15, just puffing away until she got to our house and handed it to her mom and once she was done, she got it back and moved on to the next house. The only candy I should have her was Nicorette gum. Seriously What the fuck is going on! Mom to daughter: "Honey, your slutty costume looks great! Don't forget your pillow case and your smokes!"
Who am I to judge. Parents will do what parents will do and allow their kid dress however but at some point Halloween has to get back to being about the kids. I'm not talking about 10 month olds who can't even eat candy yet that get pushed around in strollers while the parents hit payday in the candy dept. Sure your kid is cute in their costume but I know that that Reese cup is going to be eaten by you and not your kid. I must be getting old because I needed to vent on a blog about this holiday but I feel like we adults have made it more about us then about the kids. Thanks for reading and hopefully I'm not alone in these thoughts that I have. Now if you excuse me, I have to go figure out which sexy Ninja Turtle I'm gonna be.
Again I love Halloween and also love throwing on a costume to pass out candy because the looks on some of the kids faces is priceless and after all, Halloween is about the kids. I've been Darth Vader, a werewolf, gorilla, and even a gorilla wearing a banana costume. Sure I may be a little old to throw on a costume but I like to get in the spirit of the holiday. This brings me to my next issue with the modern trick or treater. At some point, we all reach the age where we hang up our trick or treating buckets and do other things on All hallows eve but it seems the age at which this is supposed to happen has been pushed back a bit. I used to say "You are never too old for free candy." But guess what? I now have a weight problem so that saying has back fired. You may not ever be too old for free candy but once you stop even attempting to dress up to trick or treat then it's time to just stop all together. Sweat pants and a hooded sweatshirt seem to be the most popular costume for older male trick or treaters. I'm talking like High School juniors and possibly some seniors. I'm pretty sure I stopped going when I was a freshman out of fear that I would be seen by older class mates and have my reputation ruined, because back then I apparently had a reputation in my own mind and that reputation was that I was somehow cool. Listen, if you decide while you are visiting a possible college to attend that you are going to go trick or treating then at least put on some kind of fucking costume or mask because if not then I'll just consider you going as a douche bag and if you decide to still go out as douche bag man, say fucking "trick or treat" and "thank you" because I may decide not to give you candy.........ok I probably will out of fear that you will vandalize my house while I'm sleeping.
I remember how excited I would get as 6:00 pm would get closer then it would finally get here and my mom, brother and I would head out. My brother and I would run fro house to house which my mom didn't seem to mind. She just wanted us to be done as quick as possible because chances were that she was miserable, probably because the weather was either cold or rainy and some years, both. She powered through those years and when we got old enough to go without her, I'm sure she was relieved. Thanks mom, for toughing it out through rain,sleet, and cold all those years. That is what parents are for. What parents are not for is to hold your cigarette while you go up to house for candy and then hand it back to you once you are done. This seriously happened! The girl was probably 14-15, just puffing away until she got to our house and handed it to her mom and once she was done, she got it back and moved on to the next house. The only candy I should have her was Nicorette gum. Seriously What the fuck is going on! Mom to daughter: "Honey, your slutty costume looks great! Don't forget your pillow case and your smokes!"
Who am I to judge. Parents will do what parents will do and allow their kid dress however but at some point Halloween has to get back to being about the kids. I'm not talking about 10 month olds who can't even eat candy yet that get pushed around in strollers while the parents hit payday in the candy dept. Sure your kid is cute in their costume but I know that that Reese cup is going to be eaten by you and not your kid. I must be getting old because I needed to vent on a blog about this holiday but I feel like we adults have made it more about us then about the kids. Thanks for reading and hopefully I'm not alone in these thoughts that I have. Now if you excuse me, I have to go figure out which sexy Ninja Turtle I'm gonna be.
